When I'm My Brother's Keeper: One Life in the Hands of Another

My oldest son is about to deploy to war. I asked him the other night if he was getting worried. He replied that all soldiers get worried. I tried to give him some encouragement, something moms always feel they need to do. I gave him some words of hope, not to be afraid, trusting that our time is in God's hands, that we live one day at a time, and do our best. Then his words struck me and I could see in his eyes the heaviness as he spoke of the lives of others that would be in his hands. That is a heavy thought.
I can still see the look in his eyes. The next time we spoke about his deployment, I wanted to give him a few more encouraging words. For one thing, how proud I am of him. He is a thoughtful young man, serious minded, honest, hard working, and cares about others. I told him that he is someone I would trust with my own life, and feel confident in his leadership.
I started to think about being responsible for someone else, even to the point of being responsible for life itself. This is a big reality for a soldier heading to war. In the professional world I think of doctors, emergency workers like firefighters and police, those who deal often with life and death situations. Then I thought we are really all in this place, and should be mindful of our reponsibility towards others. How we live could bring us face to face with life and death.
I am a parent. The moment I learned I was to become a parent, that thought and reality of bringing life into the world made me more conscious of the responsibility I had for the very life of my child. While I believed my children were in God's hands, I still felt the burden of responsibility for them. I am a steward in God's world. I am responsible for the way I treat others, as well as how I treat the world around me. Why? Because what I do impacts more than me. In a sense, I am my brother's keeper. We all are. Maybe we forget now and then. Maybe until something big confronts us, we don't think much about it. We are all to be responsible. And we need to support and encourage those who are faced with carrying larger burdens.
My son and others are going to feel what it is to hold a person's life in their hands. What happens if a life is lost? What happens when circumstances move outside of what a person can control? I pray he and those he is serving with will not face this kind of situation. I pray for the soldiers responsible for my son. I pray they will find peace and no harm will come to them. God bless and protect our soldiers. God bless America.

The Dignity of the Elderly

I am presently spending the month with my 92 year old grandmother and up until recently was the primary caregiver to my 92 year old mother in law. Up until the last couple of years ago both of these 2 matriarchs were proud to boast of their great health and the blessing of still having their minds in tact at their ages. Things change a lot for the elderly in a short time. My grandmother is still in excellent health and state of mind, although a little more frail, but this is no longer so in my mother in law's situation. Stroke has left her with dementia and the need for 24 hour care that is at a level that our family can no longer provide for her and has had to turn to a full time care provider.  This has been a difficult road. This has also been an important time of growing, learning, patience, faith and love. I've learned so much from them, and while the two are now worlds apart as far as their physical and mental capabilities, both of these amazing women have and will always have dignity that surpasses these capabilities. They deserve to be shown dignity because they live.
The saddest thing I hear from both my grandmother and my mother in law is when they say that they are living too long. Perhaps there is a loss of the pride of youth and independence when they begin to feel that it is a burden to have their children care for them. It is not easy to put aside our own independence and freedom to take care of another adult. It somehow is different than putting everything aside in caring for our children- then again is it really? To be honest, it seems natural to have a baby that needs everything from us. It's so rewarding to see a baby take steps ahead and begin to do things for himself. It's altogether different when an older person can do less and less. As caregivers we feel not a reward of seeing new milestones reached, but the desire to help them hang on to whatever is left and loss of it slipping away. They know that. They see us striving to help them. Sometimes they feel hopeless, and so do we. It's different from letting go of our older children when we find they no longer need us in the same way as when they were young. That's not hopeless, it's hopeful. We hope in the lives they will build for themselves. In the care of the elderly, we know the time draws closer that we will no longer have them. We love them so much, and watching them age feels something like a prolonged goodbye. Still, I don't want to say goodbye yet.
What can I give them and what do they give me. It starts with love. It's a feeling that maybe I can give back in part what they have given to me. I want to do anything I can for them. I want them to know I love them as unconditionally as they loved me. I am willing to sacrifice for them. That's what we do when we love. If I can say something cheerful to bring a simile to their face, and if I can communicate that their abilities or lack of abilities never take away from the love I have for them, perhaps it will bring a smile to their face, and make them feel secure and at peace. They need to feel loved and wanted just like all of us. Sometimes I need to be extra patient and more compassionate. Thank you grandma and mom, you needed to show me that. So often I have had to make that cup half full after discovering it's been half empty too long. I complain about their ailments and get selfish with my time, but what do I really have to complain about? I still like to listen to my grandma tell me about old times and watch her busy herself with her day to day activities. I try to change the mood when the grumbling attitude creeps in and we need to talk about more cheerful things. With my mother in law, I am so glad that I listened to all of those old stories she told me when she could, so now I can tell them to her and see joy in her face when she hears them again and again. Until the last breath they breathe, I hope they will feel a sense of peace that comes from being loved, and even if they don't remember me, the feeling will remain. That they will be treated with dignity, love and honor is all I can hope for them.

Men Need Good Male Friendships

My last post was a sarcastic view on wives keeping their husbands happy, but here I would like to take the opportunity to write something in favor of happy husbands. This may not be scientific fact, (perhaps someone can actually do a study about this) but I've noticed that great husbands and generally happy men have strong male friendships, particularly where their friends provide positive role models and influences.
On the other hand, I have also noticed that many wives tend to sabotage male friendships. Perhaps after a husband is at work all week, spending a Saturday with his buddies appears selfish, and the wife thinks being home and doing things is much more important, and maybe that particular Saturday it is- I'll try not to judge. I just don't think its a healthy thing to do all the time. Woman prize their girlfriends. We go the extra mile to find the time to get together for lunch, shopping, or even a long telephone conversation. We are refreshed when we spend time with our girlfriends. Does the man in your life have such a luxury in his guy friends?
Some men would not admit the need to have close friendships with other men. He thinks his family provides all he needs. The wife might think so too, that she can address all the needs of her husband. It looks like an ideal relationship, but can the wife and family be everything at all times? Here again I hope not to judge and make too big generalizations, but I have seen situations like this that can become controlling or stale.
A woman should love when her man has great guy friends. A man expends physical energy and de-stresses athletically with his friends. He should have friends with similar interests that motivate and push him. He needs friends that share values, so as he watches them in life situations they help shape ideas that he brings to his own home, providing a balance. Sometimes the way he would do something can be even better if the example of his friend models inspires a healthier perspective. Sometimes our husbands need to be the encouragement to their friends also, because friendship isn't just in needing, but also in giving. Friendship is one of the greatest expressions of love.

keeping husbands happy vs. keeping wives happy

Shopping at my local bookstore today, I came across an interesting book that I just couldn't resist: "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage- How to Keep Your Husband Happy and Make Love Last" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Years ago I used to listen to Dr. Laura's radio program while driving on my way to various kid practices, and I always enjoyed her common sense advice. This is one reason why the book appealed to me, but not the only reason. Lately, I've taken notice that there are tons of books and articles written about keeping husbands happy, not to mention how often women talk about keeping their husbands happy. I suppose this has always been the case, but lately it's been bugging me. For this reason, I've decided to explore the other side of the question of keeping husbands happy, and that is keeping wives happy.
I am not against keeping husbands happy. I'd like to think I keep my husband happy, and he keeps me happy too. I am a very traditional woman, perhaps more like a housewife of the 50's than of my own generation, but like those June Cleaver 50's housewives, even they have their principles and know the time to speak out! Enough one-sided how to please your husband books please! Are husbands that needy that wives are always having to run to the bookstore to find the latest way to please them? Are men so selfish and high maintenance that all their happiness depends upon the performance of their wife? Are women creating self-centered men by succumbing to fear that they will loose their man if they can't keep them happy? How many men are running to the bookstore looking for books called "Husbands, How to Keep your Wives Happy" or men's magazine articles entitled "Romantic Nights and Becoming the Prince Charming She Thought You Were on Your Wedding Night." How many sermons are preached on a given Sunday on the topic "Husbands Love Your Wives as Christ Loved the Church"? It's very obvious that this is a one sided issue, extremely pertinent to women, but of little significance to men.
I am anxious to start reading my new book, because I am curious to see what Dr. Laura thinks men need from their wives to be happy. I think I can guess fairly well. I wonder if she'll bring up any women's needs even though we already know what we need, but just for the sake that some women might strategically leave the book open at that spot for their man to catch a glance. I also sit here with some cynical thoughts about the whole idea of keeping each other happy, after all is love really about performance? If a husband and wife both are committed to loving the other, won't their words and actions reflect that love? Won't the need for having to be pleased be exchanged for mutual love? I address this to husbands and wives, love each other 100%, not 50/50, not based on performance, not selfishly, but with respect, mutual affection, and commitment to your spouse, with the love of God. Think of something higher and greater than giving and taking in love- giving and taking happens and is a natural part of the way we love, but if it becomes all about that, chances are someone will end up doing all the giving and the other all the taking, so reach higher than that!

Search the Scriptures - Ancient Faith Radio

Search the Scriptures - Ancient Faith Radio

The above link is from a great podcast Bible Study that I have been listening to. I am enjoying these studies so much that I wanted to share it on my blog. It's a very thorough, college level Biblical studies course taught by Dr. Jeannie Constantinou.

I Wonder What They're Doing Now- for parents when the children are gone

Next week my remaining children at home will all be away at summer camp. I will have one week of being an empty nester. Several families from my church will be experiencing the same, as we send our children off to camp together. How many times will we think over the week to come, "I wonder what the children are doing now?" Of course many parents will also find that when their children are gone, they will have lots of time to catch up on their individual needs, and maybe even enjoy having their spouse alone for the brief time, but at some point they'll ask themselves, "I wonder what they're doing now?"
My husband and I are both the type of people who enjoy spending most of our time around our children, and with two of our children grown and independent, we cherish those times when everyone is home. It is natural for us to miss them when they go away, but it is also natural to gradually let go and release them to grow up.
All parents are familiar with watching our children experience separation anxiety at those baby stages, when simply venturing into a different room, or handing our baby to another person to carry creates reluctance to terror in the child, to varying degrees depending on the child's own temperament. What we hate to admit is our own separation anxiety. How hard is it to the mother who goes out to work and entrusts a sitter or child care provider? The mother who is home full time with her child may experience it for the first time when she leaves child to go to an appointment, or in social or church settings where nursery care is becoming more and more popular, or even that first day of school. Whatever the situation is, at some point we separate from our children and experience to a degree of letting go.
Children have different needs and so do parents in how they experience being apart. My first two children were as opposite as night and day when it came to being apart from my husband and I. The oldest had an independent and fearless spirit very young, but his brother was very uncomfortable away from us. I've also seen in my friends so many varying levels and attitudes about how they respond to time away from their children. For some, it's necessity, they need to work and need to adapt to being away from a child. Others are so uncomfortable about the whole idea that their lifestyles have centered upon the time spent with their children. We all have different needs and comfort levels, but the truth is, Lord willing, every child will grow up and become his own. Every parent in turn lets go.
I have come to the point in my life where I am comfortable with the idea of what I call releasing my children. It wasn't always so, I think I may have even been on the more extreme side of not wanting to be away from my children. My reason for this change is most probably in the spiritual comfort I take as a mother who has had to completely release her child. Almost 10 years ago we had a child born with a fatal birth defect who only spent a week with us. It was life-changing. My whole understanding of children being a gift of God grew, and so did my understanding that they truly belong to Him. He entrusts me with them for a time- His time, and I in turn entrust my God with them completely.
What happens in the practical sense of being entrusted and entrusting God in the matter of how we let go of our children? It means taking seriously our jobs as parents to prepare our children and guide them into adulthood, and it also means that when we have done what we are capable of doing, ultimately we will depend on trusting God and His love for them which is greater than ours.
I am not afraid for my children when they are away from my presence. Being away allows them to practice those values which were taught at home. They will have opportunities to mature and learn to make their own decisions. They will be accountable for their actions, whether good or bad. They will tackle challenging issues as they face new ideas that may differ from the ones they learned at home. I risk a great deal as they grow up, because I know they will have different opinions and ideas from those we taught them, but at the same time so much will be even carried to the next generation. I've loved them, taught them, prayed for them, let go of them, and allow God to carry on what needs to be done. Because of this, I can ask myself the question "I wonder what they are doing now?"and ask it with peace and affection in my heart, in a healthy way without fear, but only because I'm a normal mom who will always be thinking of her children.

Creating Balance at Home- building the house that will stand!

My cousin recently asked me if I could tackle the question of balance in the home. She asked me how to teach her child gratitude and how to distinguish what she needs from what she wants. This is a loaded topic, and I am sure most parents deal with these issues at some point in the cycle of parenting. I'll discuss balance, needs vs. wants, and will give the topic of gratitude its own place in another discussion. I want to share a few ideas I have learned about creating balance, because I have found so many ways of making it something that is truly achievable. With that said, I add a disclaimer- my own efforts in keeping balance resemble the sea- constant with the tides and calm waves flowing upon the sand, then out of nowhere stormy and self-destructive, with lots of work to clean it up. Creating balance in the home is one of those things that is achievable, yet at the same time can hold such a fine line that it can seem lost as soon as it is found. It takes effort.
I have figured out myself enough to know that I am the type of person who can tolerate a high level of stress, but will internalize it to the point of burning out, therefore, my lifelong need has been in search of the balanced life. Since most of my life has been as a home maker- a balanced life is almost equivalent to a balanced home.
In our home the keys to creating balance are multi faceted. I look at order in terms of keeping the right balance of what are my family's spiritual needs, physical needs, emotional needs, educational needs, social needs, household work, and recreational needs. All are essential to a home that brings order into our lives.
Taking care of my family's spiritual needs is my first priority. This is where the foundation is laid, and all other matters rest upon this foundation. I recognize that ultimately I answer to God for the choices I make, and how I live my life is going to affect how my children will view all spiritual matters, and shape their own faith. How I view God will impact how my children view Him. If I have a live a life of faith and love for God, it is lived out before my children. It is shown in the love I have for them and others, the patience I show them and others, the grace, virtue and strength that help me to have integrity.
Not only is it important for my family to see faith alive in my life, but it is important for me to teach them about what I believe. Religious education is so important in helping a child understand about the faith that is being lived out in the home. I don't believe it is enough to leave it only to your church, or place of worship, or for that matter a religious school. It must be talked about in the home. Do your children know the reasons for the traditions you keep? Do they understand the basic doctrines of your faith? Do you come home and talk about the lessons you learned in your place of worship? Do they know how to pray? Is learning about their faith something they enjoy, or is it a chore? Do you bring joy to them when you teach them about God, or are you forcing them? Teaching them about your faith does not need to be difficult, boring, or irrelevant. Simple prayers can be taught to the youngest of toddlers, followed by stories about what you believe, and as they get older even the history and theology of your beliefs can be something they enjoy learning about, as they take a deeper interest in the things you believe. Keep it appropriate.
Physical needs are the supporting beams built upon the foundation and the caring of emotional needs shelter the home with its covering. They are not only the basic necessities like food, clothing and shelter, but touch, love and discipline. But even in the basics, it is easy in these times to get off track.
Food for instance at one time was something viewed in terms of survival, and in many places still is, but in our culture in the effort to keep up with our lifestyles, there is gluttony, pickiness, and overall bad eating habits. It is up to the parents to direct children to eat properly. I will never forget my good friend sharing how her daughter would only eat noodles. She had brought this up to her family doctor and was grateful to have been given a gentle chastisement when the doctor made the remark, "who's the parent?" I have been really fortunate to have children who are willing to eat anything on the plate in front of them and to have self control at the dinner table, but I believe it is because it was ingrained early in their lives. We taught them table manners as toddlers. My husband set the example by thanking mom for the food and reminding the children to be thankful. We also thanked God for the food. At restaurants the first thing we did was take their utensils until the meal came, so they would not have a reason to play with the silverware. If they acted out they were removed from the table and corrected. This was done outside if it was a restaurant. It doesn't take long to teach very young children manners, and is so enjoyable when you can sit down and enjoy a good meal with your whole family.
 A few words on gluttony and pickiness; remind children to have self control when serving themselves, taking only what they plan to finish. It's alright to get seconds if they can eat more. Encourage them to try different foods, to take a small bite size portions to try. I told my children that when they try something it is showing appreciation to the person who made the food. On gluttony, while I always gave my children the freedom to have seconds,  I would question them on thirds, asking are you eating more because you are still hungry or because it tastes good? This would help them to think about their choices. If we were in a buffet, I reminded them to consider how much they took because others wanted to try, so not to load up on one type of food being served. We try to eat healthy foods at home, yet when we are guests, I tell my children they can and should show gratitude for anything served to them at someone else's home, even if it is something they are not used to eating. As an Orthodox Christian, there are frequent times of fasting from meats and dairy, but if someone has gone through the trouble of preparing a non vegetarian meal, a principle I would follow is to welcome the love and generosity shown than to offend the person by placing what I eat as more important than the individual's hospitality.
Another basic need to meet is shelter. Here I feel that each family has freedom to live within their means, but when addressing the issue of creating balance, I think often having a certain kind of home and living above one's means can throw balance way off. If a husband and wife have no time for each other, or no time for their children because they are trying to keep up with the Jones, maybe it means it's time to rethink their priorities. On the other hand, if you are experiencing extreme financial hardship, it is still important to consider health and safety, and all options to choosing a place to live. For those who have abundance, count your blessings and teach your children compassion towards those with less.
What does creating balance have to do with our basic need of clothing? In our house every so often we purge. Of course children grow fast out of their clothes. Sometimes we had clothing that they would take ages to grow into. It once got to the point, where I just did not have space. In Hawaii, most homes don't have basements and attics like on the mainland that you can store everything. I'd have them look through their clothing and purge clothes that were too small, stained, torn, or that they did not like or wear. Sometimes I have given them a guideline to have a certain number of pants, tops, undergarments, etc. and we would see if there was excess, or if it was time to go shopping to replace clothing.
The emotional well being of the family is just as important as in meeting their physical needs. I think parenting classes and books are really helpful in providing insight in good parenting skills, but I have never found one class and one book as the perfect one with everything that works. Instead I glean, and try out ideas that I believe my family would respond to. I will say, however, that Gary Chapman, has a series of books on the 5 languages of love, which have helped me a lot in recognizing my spouse's and children's emotional needs. Good communication and good listening skills are always important in strong relationships. Get in tune to their needs, because they are often not the same as yours. I have some children who need lots of touch, yet some who just don't like hugs, or cuddling, but would rather do something together, or get a special gift. On the other hand, while I think of balance, I have often seen parents who are so focused in keeping their children "happy" that they create high maintenance emotionally needy children. Perhaps this parent needs some help in determining boundaries, and carrying out discipline. There are so many good books and seminars, take advantage of them, and utilize what you learn. If you can't meet the emotional needs of your family, there can be many reasons that might involve seeking professional help. Children's emotional, physical and learning disabilities, parental stress, anxiety, depression, postpartum adjustments, sickness, grieving the loss of a loved one, and many other situations that throw off your family's balance may be too much to handle alone, and often sharing with close friends, a support group of those in similar circumstances, or seeking spiritual or medical counseling can help bring the order back into your life.
Where a faith lays the foundation of the home, and the caring for the physical and emotional needs provide the structure and covering of the home, meeting the educational, social, work and recreational needs are what complete and fill the home.
Because I have home-schooled all our children, some people have thought that I am against any other kind of education. This is absolutely not true. What is true, is that I believe the education of children is the responsibility of the parent. This means that whether you choose to home school, to send your child to public or private school, you as a parent are responsible. When I homeschool my child, I am aware of my strengths and weaknesses in what I can teach well and what I can not. I am aware of the curriculum choices I make, and whether or not it is conducive to our homeschooling environment. I am aware of the way my child learns, and work to his strengths, and look for ways to help him in the weak areas. Sometimes I can do it, sometimes I need outside help. I don't think it is different for a parent whose child is in public or private school. In a healthy home, a parent should be aware of what his child is learning in school. Listen to the child, but listen to the teacher's also. Lots of responsibility is placed on teachers. I have family members and good friends who have devoted themselves to teaching other children and it is an awesome task. Some parents are a tremendous asset to the teacher. There are parents who volunteer, parents who guide their child with assignments, communicate special concerns with the teacher to strategize for success, and show gratitude to the teacher for the service he does. Some parents, on the other hand, are not supportive to the teacher, don't follow through at home with their children, make excuses for their child's poor behavior or lack of discipline. They think it is up to the teacher to raise their child as they become spectators. Please find a balanced and healthy way to be involved in your child's education. Even if you can't be directly involved in their school, you can encourage a healthy learning environment at home, providing books, limiting television and computer games, helping your child discover the world around him through the activities you choose and the people who enter your home and influence their lives.
This leads into the area of giving your child a balanced social life. People in your social circle are some of the strongest influencers, besides yourself, in your child's life. It is important for them to have positive role models. I believe strongly in helping children in their social surroundings. When they interact with their peers, be aware if they are overly aggressive, or timid or introverted. Help them be socially aware of other children. Teach them what to do if they find someone who seems "different" whether culturally, or physically. Be aware of the amount of time your child spends only with other children. While it may be fun for your child to spend all his time with other children, he could become peer dependent and not know appropriate behavior around adults or elderly people. For your child to have good social skills at various age levels, genres, or cultures, he should have a healthy balance of the time he spends with them. Include them in your adult friendships by talking to them and not sending them off to leave you and your adult friend alone. It's fine, to have time alone with your friends, but bring some balance by helping your child feel welcome with your friends, and respectful when its time to allow the adults some adult time alone. Teach them a proper respect around old people, patience in listening to their stories, or helping the elderly with a physical need. Small children could be made aware of the safety around old people, like not to run. They should be taught to sacrifice a seat when and elderly person needs to sit. These are all positive social experiences for your child, yet what about the social situations that unavoidably are difficult or negative?
We all grew up with hearing "don't talk to strangers" and "don't take drugs" and "tell me where you are going". Let's face it,  we can't trust everyone. There are cautions we need to communicate to our children. There is such a thing as a healthy fear, but without balance, there is also unhealthy fear. Most people are not out to harm our children, but they need to know that some are and what to do if they find themselves in an unexpected situation with someone who is "not nice". I think the best thing is to equip your child. If you forbid and control all freedom as they do interact socially, it will be hard for them to learn and mature on their own, to be confident in their own decisions, and possibly becoming overly fearful or rebellious. It's hard for parents to protect their child every moment, and while we want to keep them safe, we should not suffocate them. There is a risk we take in having children, but giving the healthy fear and healthy trust, we help prepare them into adulthood.
Next, I would like to share a few thoughts on household work. It's just one of those things that cant be neglected. There are two extremes when it comes to household work. There is the home where the house is god and there is all work and no play, but gee, it sure is a pretty house, and there is the house that the family dares not to invite anyone over because its just a filthy mess. What's the balance? I admire people who "love to clean" and I wish I could say "I love to clean". The truth is I love a clean house, but I could choose plenty of other things I would rather do than clean. My saving grace is that I am a good delegator, and know how to divide up chores so our entire family can share the responsibility. With small children I like that they are helping more then how good they are doing the job. Gradually they get better and gradually I expect a better job. This has sometimes come across as a double standard to my older daughters expectation of their younger sister's work looking as good as their own, but I tend to have a little more grace about it- I prefer not to squelch the work done by laying extra burdens that they might not be capable of yet. It seems when they are exasperated about work, they want to give up more easily. It's a problem with young children if you want a perfectly spotless house. Some parents would rather do the work themselves. I think it's good for the child to learn. At 7, mine were washing dishes, doing laundry, vacuuming, dusting and sweeping- not perfectly, but it was a big help. If you cant handle missed spots, etc. may I suggest what my friend told me, and that was her child's bedroom was her own. She allowed for it to not always be picked up the way she would want the rest of her house cleaned. In that special room it was her child's own space to decorate, clean or leave messy. Children can learn work responsibility in the home. Parents need only adjust to what they are willing to live with. Only, beware of the extremes.
I finally am ready to discuss recreation. Who doesn't need a recreation outlet. Having a sport, activity, a hobby, a skill or talent you wish to develop, or some kind of way to de-stress is good for us. It is good, isn't it? Of course, in balance. I know this first hand. My family loves recreation so much, we could end up letting recreation take over our lives! In fact, it almost did! My intentions were set on our many activities being good things to do. My children were involved in sports, in music lessons, in community service all the time. It came to the point that we did not have enough hours in our day for all the other essentials. I was getting burnt out! While on the one hand, I didn't want my children to have to give up any of their activities, because they were good activities, I knew we would have to give some things up. I had 5 kids to keep activated, and I was going to end up loosing sight of what we really needed. I gave my children a say in the decision, after all they were the ones doing the activity. I needed to be willing to let them keep the activity they loved the most vs. the one that I would pick for them. It turned out all good. We got the balance back, and everyone was having fun. Did you know that some kids prefer little league to boy scouts, and some would rather take piano lessons than be on the swim team? If you are burning out from your recreation, call a family meeting. Maybe letting go isn't so bad!
Well this is my little summary on creating balance. It's like building a house that will stand. I could probably write tons more on each of these topics, but for purposes of keeping it in a readable blog, I'm only summarizing. If you like anything here and want me to input more on a particular topic, just leave me a comment, and I'll do my best. Thanks for sticking with me!

Photo Memories from Greece

Austria photos

On the Road in Europe- Part 3- Austria

Our original plans for our vacation in Europe were to see Greece and Italy, but my daughters really wanted to see Austria as well. Since we were renting a car in Italy, it looked like a short excursion to Austria could fit into our plans. I really needed to visualize how to do this, so I pulled the map of Europe out of my suitcase to see which cities looked closest to the ones we would be visiting in Italy. Salzburg was almost directly north of Venice. If we were to go to one place in Austria, the appeal of Salzburg was the most desirable, after all, The Sound of Music is our family's all time favorite musical! Vienna appeared more east, and Innsbruck, more to the west. During or stay in Venice, we found an internet cafe (the internet at our hotel was not working while we were staying there). I looked to see what kind of hotels were available in Salzburg in our price range, and saw that I was given a choice of city or mountain hotels, and was immediately drawn to the mountain hotels. They reminded me of the scene where Julie Andrews had spun around as she had sung "the hills are alive with the sound of music!"
The next day we set the GPS to the hotel's address and were happy that the ride was only 4 hours from Venice! It was a beautiful drive as we came closer and closer to the Alps, passing clear streams and small mountain towns. When we finally arrived at our hotel, we were so pleased that we asked if we could extend our stay for an additional night. We ate a hearty lunch at the hotel. We ordered 4 entrees, as I planned to share with my youngest daughter. In Italy, 4 entrees might not have been enough food, but at our hotel restaurant in Austria, 2 would have fed all of us well! After lunch the girls changed into some pretty dresses, put wild flowers in their hair and ran through the meadows like Julie Andrews! I looked into the Sound of music tour, but since we had the car, decided to just plug the tour itinerary into the GPS and this way see other places of interest along the way and go at our own pace. We took our 2nd day in Salzburg to do all this, and by the end of the day we were all exhausted but very happy with all we saw. In retrospect, I think we could have enjoyed staying one or two more days. There was a lot to do in the area. I did not realize it is also quite close to Munich, Germany and the Black Forest. My advice is Salzburg should have a minimum of 3 days!
After Salzburg we travelled about 2 and a half hours west to Innsbruck. The mountains are really spectacular, although they were not as snow covered as I had remembered them on a summer trip I made in college. Innsbruck was the only place where we experienced rain during our entire 3 and a half week stay in Europe, yet it was still a beautiful place. I think the people who live in that area must be very health conscience. In spite of the rain, many people walked with umbrellas, were out for a jog, or riding on bicycles. Austria in general was clean and green! It was a short visit, but one of our top places that we visited. And a few added plusses- it seemed less expensive to stay in Austria than in Italy, it is a small country with lots to see and do within short distances, and if you live in Hawaii or Asia, and are used to eating rice regularly, we saw lots of Chinese Restaurants around! We actually took a late night stroll to a Chinese restaurant around the corner from our hotel and brought back some take out fried rice, satisfying that craving to last us the final week of our trip.

Photos from our trip to Italy

On the Road in Europe- Part 2- Italy

We arrived home from our journey last Wednesday, and I am finally starting to recover from jet-lag. As promised in my last blog, I will now talk about our experiences in Italy.
Italy- the ultimate road trip:
Winging it usually works for our family, but when in Rome, I will advise, have some plans! We started out our Italian portion of our trip on the wrong foot. I assumed as we had arrived in Greece without reservations and easily found a place to stay, that we could do the same in Rome. NOT so. At least not in Rome. We arrived at the Rome Fuimicino Airport and proceeded to pick up our trusty rental car- a tiny Fiat. We were prepared for this, and happy we packed lightly, able to squeeze our luggage tightly into that little back cargo space of the hatchback. My friend's advice to pack a black sheet also came in handy, since we could cover everything so it wouldn't show where the back flap wouldn't quite go down all the way with our luggage in there. We also felt ready to go with our trusty GPS. The GPS helped us in Greece, but in Rome we had much more difficulty with it, especially on the many rotaries, narrow streets that did not look like real streets, and road construction areas that were not updated on the GPS. We were set and ready to find a hotel and begin our adventures in Rome. There was no internet or wifi at the airport, so we thought we'd try the ones listed on the GPS. Many of the hotels listed on the GPS were either not there, or full. Driving around for several hours, we searched for an internet cafe without success. We found a hotel that called some other places and told us of one that had rooms available, and programmed or GPS to find it. It was the most expensive, ugly, 4 star hotel in a sketchy area, and we decided that after a good sleep we would say goodbye to Rome and start off our Italian vacation in Florence. On the positive side, the hotel had internet in the lobby at a small fee, so we were able to get online to make sure we had a hotel available when we arrived in Florence.
Finding Hotels Online:
If you can find an internet connection in Italy, it is easy to make online reservations, we were even able to reserve hotels the day of our arrival. I found www.booking.com to have many hotels available with a great range of prices, good descriptions and comments made by people who have stayed in those hotels. I found the comments helpful, especially if they said the neighborhood was convenient, or not safe. I looked for hotels by price, internet availability, parking available, and proximity to sites.
The stops and stays along the way:
Florence- it took about 4 hours to drive to from Rome and we stayed 2 nights- this was plenty of time for us to see all the sites and museums we were interested in. Our hotel was in walking distance to the main part of the city.
Ravenna- 1 night- Ravenna was not a long drive from Florence, only a couple of hours away. Ravenna had interesting sites to see. I liked that it was not as crowded and was smaller than Florence, and had the most spectacular mosaics in the churches that I have ever seen. We went to a laundry mat when we first arrived which kept some of our euros when we put them into the machine, and discolored some of our clothes.
Venice- 2 nights- It took a couple more hours from Ravenna to drive. We stayed at a hotel just outside of Venice which was on the public transportation line. We tried the public transportation which was easy to use, but the next day we decided to drive since we were familiar with where to park and how to get there. We also took the boat to Murano that 2nd day, and I would highly recommend that if you go to Venice, you should make it a point to stop in Murano, famous for its glass. It came to my attention that many items sold in Venice and Murano are made in China, so check first to make sure the label says made in Venice or Murano.
After Venice, we decided it was time for a break from Italy, and we drove up to Salzburg, Austria for 2 nights (a 4 hour drive from Venice), and Innsbruck, Austria for 1 night (2 hours from Saltzburg). I will discuss Austria in my next blog!
Verona- a couple hours- We stopped in Verona for lunch on our way to Tuscany from Innsbruck.
Tuscany- 1 night- I think this was the nicest surprise on our journey. I am going to specify where we stayed.  This was advertised as a 2 bedroom apartment at 73 euros a night. We didn't know what we were going to get, because we usually booked a double and triple room, costing much more. The picture and reviews on booking.com made me curious, and as it turned out it was very charming. The owner Giulio Gasperini, just opened it in March. We had a beautiful antique Tuscan 2 story apartment complete with 2 fireplaces,  living area, kitchen, 2 bedrooms and bath. It was in a quiet residential country area, and a great place to just relax and unwind from all of our driving. I could have stayed a week here!

Hotel Residence Antica Villa
Address Loc.Fondaccio 235
Arezzo, 52100
Italy
Phone +393450511611
Fax +39057597426
E-mail info@residenceanticavilla.it

After Tuscany, we drove to Sorrento and stayed 1 night. When in that area we drove to Amalfi and had dinner there, and the next morning headed to Pompeii to see the ruins, before heading back to Rome. This time we made sure we had reservations for our hotel stay in Rome.
Rome- 2 nights
Rome- 1 more night because we couldn't get on the standby flight home the day we planned.
Museums in Italy:
Before I left, I was told that any museums in Italy are closed on Sundays and reservations could be made in advance. I didn't have the opportunity to make advance reservations ahead, since we planned as we went along. The man at the front desk at our hotel in Florence told us that if we got to the Ufizzi museum early that we wouldn't have too long to wait. We got there about half an hour before they opened and got in after 45 minutes. No liquids can be brought in. I realized that we would be in Rome on a Sunday and thought that we were going to miss seeing the Vatican Museum. I checked into this with the front desk clerk at our hotel in Rome, and found out the Vatican Museum is closed on Sundays, but opened on the last Sunday of the month until noon. Fortunately for us we were in Rome on the last Sunday of the month. We arrived about an hour before the museum opened and the line was blocks long, but guides were soliciting for people to join guided tours and move to the beginning of the line. This was well worth it since there was no admission fee on that Sunday, and the cost of the guided tour ended up being the same price as if we had a regular weekday admission fee. Guides in museums are great. If you have the opportunity to see a museum with or without one, take the guide. I also found out appointments need to be made for a Papal audience, on Wednesdays only, and to see the burial site of St. Peter, under the Vatican, an appointment must be made 8 to 30 days in advance.
Food in Italy- It's not what you think!
My husband was looking forward to a big dish of spaghetti with tomato sauce. This was not so easy to find. I am not saying the food was bad, much of it was very delicious, but it is not like Italian food in the U.S.A. Pizza is different too. Food was much more expensive, and portions much smaller than we found in Greece and Austria, and is on the menu in courses. The other surprise was that most places charged a cover charge just for sitting down. We thought this was for the bread, but later realized it was a cover charge.
One last thing to say about Driving in Italy- Pray!!!
We thought Athens was chaotic until we got to Italy! Italians make their own lanes, drive incredibly fast, and love their rotaries! Again, all I can say is PRAY! I am so thankful our rental car came back without scratches!
Enjoy Italy! We did!

On the Road in Europe- part 1 Greece

Following up on my family travel series, I thought I'd share our recent experiences while on the road in Europe. Three weeks ago, we began our latest adventure. We started our trip in Greece, continued through Italy and now 3 weeks later, I am posting this blog from Saltzburg Austria.
It took 24 hours of flight time from Honolulu to Los Angeles, LAX to JFK, then JFK to ATH. Since my husband is a travel industry employee, we took advantage of our pass flying privileges, and successfully made it all the way to Athens without getting bumped off any flights. I was hesitant to book any of our hotels on the exact day our flight was supposed to arrive, so gave a date of arrival to book the hotels 2 days after we actually arrived, just to play it safe if we did end up getting bumped. We reserved a car at the Athens airport for the actual date of our arrival, and had about 3 maybe places we wanted to see upon the earlier arrival. A friend was kind in sharing his GPS with us to take on our trip, which had the map programs for Europe. I think we would not have found our way out of the airport if we didn't have this. We opted to drive to Delphi which was only 2 1/2 hours drive from Athens. We made this decision because we knew we were already going to be 2 days in Athens from our booked reservations we made with a travel agency (Fantasy Travel- found them on the internet and they were good). Delphi also had ruins and ancient history behind it, which interested us, and it was closer then the other places we looked at, so after a 24 hr flight we needed something close! We loved Delphi. I don't know how the other months are, but May was ideal- perfect climate for walking around, uncrowded, and easy to find a hotel without making prior arrangements. We drove through and saw a man, Dimitri, sitting outside a hotel, who invited us in to look at his rooms. It was clean, cosy, and inexpensive! In fact the least expensive we found this entire trip! Well Dimitri and his mom were so hospitable and so nice, he asked us to put in a good word about his hotel, so I will. It is Hotel Orfeas Delfi telephone (2265)082077. Delphi was quaint. I walked into the local church- St. Nicholas and met an elderly woman who spoke no English, but desperately tried to communicate her enthusiasm about that church. From what I understood from her, the icons were over 300 years old and some were given by her grandparents who came to Delphi from the next town after a great earthquake. She also shared the wonderful Pasca (Easter) festivities that take place at the church- free food, dancing. She was very pleased to tell her story and did a great job considering the language barrier. In general, everyone was pretty friendly, laid back and willing to as we say in Hawaii, "talk story".
When we went to Athens my daughters experienced temporary culture shock. Athens is a huge city with a metropolitan population of about 4 million people. It seems like everyone smokes there, and with all the cars you'll probably want to get some fresh air on the islands after 2 days. With that said, my children still appreciated Athens, the delicious food, and glorious history. Takis from Fantasy Travel met us at the airport after we dropped off our rental car, and gave us all of our travel vouchers for the rest of our stay in Greece. It was very easy going through them, because for the rest of our trip we didn't have to think about the hotels, or ferries, yet we had all the flexibility of doing whatever we wanted when we arrived. A half day tour was included in our stay in Athens and it was nice to have a guide, who made every place we went more interesting- especially the acropolis museum. The rest of the time in Athens was spent walking around, shopping for souvenirs, taking pictures, and eating, eating and eating!
We spent the rest of our visit to Greece on 2 islands, Mykonos and Santorini, and even if they are probably the most tourist centered places in Greece, they are beautiful, fun, and because they cater to tourists they have all the comforts a world traveller would look for- good food, shopping, beaches, modern facilities, and internet! Greece has a good ferry system to get around the islands, but sometimes the sea does not cooperate. Everything went fine to Mykonos, but from Mykonos to Santorini the coast guard closed the ports and we ended up staying overnight in Ios. Unfortunately here the communication was not so good, and we were hearing different messages from the people on the ferry to those working on the ferry to the coast guards themselves on our expected departure times, so it was hard to know what exactly was going on. When on the islands we rented cars. Again this gave us flexibility to come and go as we pleased and explore different parts of the islands, and even though the islands are not very big, that GPS was a necessity.
All in all our family loved Greece so much, it would be a place we would choose to return to. People are friendly and helpful, it's a beautiful place where each place you go to offers something unique and interesting, and in spite of it being a country with some harsh terrain and intense politics, it's civilized, and culturally spectacular!

Family Travel Series Part 6

This will be the final post in my Family Travel series. After this I will start a new topic.
As I write this, I am taking a little break from my own vacation preparation. It's getting down to the last wire and in a couple of days we hope to be on a flight to Europe, marking a milestone for our oldest daughter's high school graduation. I always get more excited when a special event in one of my children's life has a trip connected to it, even if is a short one, like the overnight mother-daughter/father-son trips we took on 16th and 13th birthdays.
It seems that so much of taking a trip is getting ready to go! Right now I am in the middle of cleaning house so when I come home all I will have to think about is unpacking and washing my clothes. Perhaps coming home to a house that has just been spring cleaned will also allow me time to rest after my trip. We are all mostly packed. I'll probably do a final load of laundry the day we are ready to leave, just to have a extra things I planned to pack but already wore!
We are packing VERY light- between the 5 of us we have 3 overnight shoulder bags and 2 pull style carry on bags, and this is for a 3 week vacation! I hate checking baggage, even before airlines started charging for it. This is because I have had my bag lost or late one too many times, so we have become in the habit of doing with as little as we can. The funny thing about vacations is that I tend to feel more comfortable with rotating a few choices of mix and match outfits than having a big suitcase full of clothing I never end up wearing.
Besides packing the basics of clothing, it seems like electrical/electronic supplies take up more room now than they ever have in the past. I now have the laptop, the laptop charger, the cell phone, the cell phone charger, a gps and charger, my ipod and charger, a set of walkie talkies with chargers (since I don't expect that I will be able to use my cell phone in Europe and had a good experience using walkie talkies in Disney World), and finally the digital camera, charger and usb cable. I think this is what we need the larger carry-on bag with wheels.
My concerned oldest son asked me if we had a safety plan. I guess when you go to another country, it is a good idea to plan for the unexpected. This is another part of why we have the walkie talkies. Some other preparations we made- each of us have copies of each other's passports, and copies left with a family member at home. Of course we had the big talk with the kids on the dangers of wandering in a place that if you get lost no one knows English so you can't ask where mommy is. We also have a notebook with all of our back up lists of contact numbers, confirmation numbers, and other important things like where to eat and what to buy. Back on the home front we have our son house-sitting, taking care of our mail, watering our lawn and plants, and keeping our house lived in to keep away robbers.
Friends who have travelled abroad have also given me some good safety tips, which I thought were very helpful, especially in the case where we will have a car rental for part of our trip. Pack a black sheet to cover anything visible and tempting for cars to be broken into. If you have to go into your trunk, do so in a different place from where you plan to park your car- take out what you need then go and find a place to park. Beware of fake parking attendants collecting money in lots, and use a designated parking garage whenever possible. Beware of pickpockets and opening up your wallet or bag for beggars. Opening your wallet to beggars could put you in the position of being swarmed by more beggars and then pick-pocketed.
I am sure when we travel, American Tourists will be written all over us, but even so I don't want to look like the easy target American tourist, who is unwise and unaware.
Well I hope this travel series has been helpful. If there is any other specific insights I can offer about family travel I'd be happy to hear some ideas on topics.

Family Travel Series Part 5

Today I want to share some important character building values that we can all learn if we make a point to stay aware while we are on vacation. It's easy to take a vacation and stay completely unaware of what I call open windows of opportunity. We become so engrossed in the activity, and so consumer oriented, that we overlook those subtle moments that can be used for character building.
Open windows of opportunity happen daily in our lives but they are easy to miss. These are the short moments when someone gives you a small piece of their heart or lets you into their world. It is the perfect time to build relationships and grow character. Often we are so involved and into ourselves that we are unaware when a window has been opened. If these windows are hard to find in our daily lives, how can taking a vacation help us to more aware of when they are open?
While it is true that the vacation itself is the topic of the moment, it is also true that you are in an ideal moment to be relationship building with your spouse or children. Stop and listen. Sometimes when someone is away from their daily routine, they can be more open to self expression. They are more relaxed, more contemplative, more observant.
If you or your family member have never kept a journal, vacations are perfect times to start. Get a travel journal and express your thoughts and experiences. Talk about them too. If you are vacationing to visit friends or family share your stories with your spouse and children. Prompt them about what will be expected of them. If you are vacationing with extended family how will everyone be able to pitch in to cooperate in harmony? If you are vacationing abroad, be aware of cultural differences and how you and your family can be a respectful guest in someone else's country. If you are traveling with children listen to their queues as they are learning about the world around them, and be ready to help them find answers to their questions- all the whys and all the whats.
Listen, write, talk, grow, and guide. New adventures to experience together, the chance to build more virtuous character as you look for those open windows, this is the hidden surprise of your vacation!

Family Travel Series Part 4

When I start to think about camping, the first thing that comes to mind is how much work it is, then I think about how exhausted we are after camping, and I wonder why we love it so much. Camping is a lot like setting up a new place to live for a short time, only to have to take it all down, pack up again, and spend days of cleaning everything after getting home. If you have never gone camping and are planning to, know what you are getting into! First of all, if you are going to do any kind of serious camping, you will need to take a visit to your local sporting goods store for camping supplies- tents, sleeping bags, air mattresses for those with bad backs (we've been known to use blow up beach rafts), camp stoves with cooking supplies, lanterns, flashlights, insect repellant, sunscreen, benedryl, folding beach chairs, tarps, some kind of canopy for cooking under, coolers, water coolers, lots of ice, food and drinks, marshmallows, graham crackers and chocolate, and depending what kind of activities you will be doing when camping, you may need beach supplies, hiking gear, fishing supplies, or maybe just a hammock! Now that you have all of your camping gear, you'll need to find a way to hall your home away from home, and then set it all up- but cheer up, work has never been so fun, and once it is all set up, get your campfire going, fix your family some comforting camp food and enjoy the sights and sounds of nature.
It seems there are two modes of thought on camping activities- structured and unstructured. The structured camp looks something like this: 6:00 wake-up, 6:30 quiet devotional time, or morning fitness exercises, 7:00 breakfast, 7:30 breakfast clean up, 8-8:30 nature walk, 9:00 craft, 10-12:00 swimming, 12:00 lunch, 12:30 clean-up, 1-2:00 games, 2-4:00 more beach activities, 4-5:00 clean up and quiet time, 5:00 dinner, 5:30 clean up after dinner, 6-7:00 story telling, 7-8:00 camp fire, sing along and smores. 8:00 ready for bed! This kind of organized camp is the kind of camp that keeps kids entertained and is often helpful when camping with several families, a church group or other organization. Then there is the no schedule spontaneous camp- the one that time is forgotten once everything is set up, and something happens only when you choose something to happen- it looks something like this: "wow, listen to all the birds so early in the morning- would you like some coffee honey?" "In a little while, I think I'm going to sleep some more." "Mom, I have to use the bathroom" "Alright sweetie, grab the roll of toilet paper and your tooth brush and I'll take you over there." Several hours later..."Does anyone want to go for a walk with me?" "How about a swim?" "Dad, can you take me fishing now?" Well you get the point. Actually, I prefer the unstructured camp. I think since camping seems to involve so much preparation, plan B allows me to catch up and really enjoy the outdoor experience. I know some people who like a little of both. They mostly relax at camp, but then they bring crafts, or schedule a few activities without having the entire time scheduled. A person needs to decide what he or she is comfortable with. When it's all over, everyone can be involved in the packing and cleaning up. Even little ones can pitch in with picking up any litter that is around, or carrying small items to the car. Camping is a great family experience, and whenever it is possible involve everyone. Finally, a few more pointers to make things easier when camping with babies and toddlers. Keep that wonderful pottie chair by your tent at night- it is kind of scary for small children to venture far from the tent after dark to find bathrooms. I also like to bring along a very small plastic swimming pool to wash babies or toddlers in, because they will get very dirty at camp. Last of all, as tempting as it is to bring radios, laptops, and other electronic forms of entertainment, try to give it up for a short time. To go camping is like taking a retreat from the day to day activity, and giving those items a break will give you more time for your family.

Family Travel Series Part 3

Traveling with babies or very young children may seem like a challenge, but with a little preparation and some helpful(I hope)advice, you may be able to make things a bit easier on yourself. I have had lots of experience traveling with my children- from one infant to my growing family of 5 children- from the airplane flight to the road trip- and traveling alone with my children and with the help of my husband. Since I have here various situations I will try to list some helpful tips. I shall start with tips for road trips with the very young, and conclude with air travel tips.
Road trips are such great ways for building special family memories. At the same time, parents may dread those long rides with fears about wining children, frequent bathroom stops and sibling rivalry in the cramped quarters of an automobile. Our family's greatest road trip challenge was a cross country trip with our then 18 month old daughter, our 6 and 7 year old daughters, and our 9 and 11 year old sons. Fortunately, the shorter day trips and just knowing our kids helped us strategize our plans.
Depending on the size of your car, and the size of your family, you may be able to bring extra baggage in comparison to air travel, but I would highly recommend that you do not over-pack. Besides your basic clothing and toiletries, here are a few handy items to bring along:
A portable potty chair- especially if you have girls. I found out from those shorter trips that public restrooms are not always close enough, and little girls would rather sit down if you get my point. I began to just leave a portable potty chair in my car for these situations.
A small cooler with water and healthy snacks- especially for longer trips when frequent stopping at convenience stores and fast food restaurants get tiresome and expensive after a while. When we took our cross country trip, we all quickly got tired of burgers and fries and craved salad and fresh fruit.
A small first aid kit, or at least bandages and antibiotic ointment.
Pre-recorded stories on cds/mp3s/tapes-whatever you have in your car. I realize many people now have dvd players in their cars- we did not have this luxury when my children were young, and I am actually glad we didn't. When we needed some down time we put on our story tapes. I suppose dvd's are good to help create a quiet time in the car, but try not to overuse them. Remember the lost art of the road trip games like how many blue cars can you count between here and the next exit, or the I'm thinking of an animal guessing game- or just looking out the window at the scenery.
Consider taking a road trip off season when attractions are less crowded and lines are shorter since little ones get tired quickly waiting in long lines.
If you have a larger car with more seating options strategically seat your children where they can be the most helpful and have the least conflicts, like an older sibling next to baby's car seat to help reach for those dropped toys or hold a baby bottle in place.
Whenever I traveled by air with my children, from a very young age I prepared them well in advance what to expect. Perhaps this is more out of necessity since my husband works in the travel industry and most of our air travel has been space available travel. This means if the flight is full, we need to wait for another, sometimes coming back to the airport the next day or so before one is available. Sometimes it means we won't have seats together- believe me this is torture for a 3 year old sitting across the row from mother and not next to her. Therefore, the best thing I could do was to prepare them. Before our trip we would get them coloring books, small toys or games, and snacks for the flight. We prepared them for staying in their seats instructing them that the only time to get out of the seat was to use the rest room and that meant only if the fasten seat belt sign was off and there were no food or beverage carts in the aisle. For our preschool aged children, we had them wear a pull up just in case the light wouldn't come on and they couldn't wait- for emergencies. They were told ahead of time that if our seats were not together that mom or dad would come to their seat right after the seat belt sign was turned off to check on them and we would continue to check throughout the flight. We told them the rules on the plane about storing their bags, and when they could take something out. They were told ahead that the food and drinks were served at a certain time during the flight and they needed to wait for that time. If they wanted something before that time, they had their own snacks. I am a big fan of traveling light, and when it comes to air travel we pack only what fits into a carry-on. Each of my children have always had a carry-on wheel bag proportional to the size they could pull. I also had gum for my children to give them for the descent. This helps with the pressure changes in the ear. Wake up children when the flight descends so they can focus on relieving the pressure in their ears. Children are usually more sensitive than adults to the pressure changes. If you have an infant who is riding on your lap, nursing or giving a bottle during descent is helpful. My husband and I spent a lot of time preparing our children for air travel, and it really paid off. If you have seen my profile, you know we are from Hawaii, which means the flights we go on are long flights. Children can and do behave on a long flight- sometimes even better than adults I have seen! Just prepare, prepare, prepare!

Family Travel Series Part 2

To begin my blog with a family travel series is both spontaneous and logical. It's spontaneous since I haven't outlined my blog with a what to write about list, and it's logical since I am currently planning my own family's vacation. In my last excerpt I shared that I will be writing about some of my own experiences. Here is where it begins- with my own childhood. Those adventures were mainly shaped by books, people, actual travel opportunities, and finally an imagination full of all sorts of wonderful dreams.
I am so thankful that while I was growing up my parents provided me with all kinds of books at home. I remember my mother telling me the reason for this was mostly economical when I was very young. She could steer me to the "Little Golden Books" and leave the toy shop without breaking the bank. When I was in the first grade our family got a beautiful set of encyclopedias. Those were my favorite books. I loved looking at pictures of exotic places and reading about worlds I could only imagine. They were full of maps and history-ah! history! The world amazed me!
Various people in my life also created a desire for me to see new places. I grew up in a small town, but even there I enjoyed meeting people who came from far away places. I had a neighbor from Ireland, and I can still picture her descriptions of the farm in Galway that had no electricity or running water and imagined how they would catch the rainwater. Two older gentlemen in my church came from England and filled my head with stories of people and places and olden days. I always loved to find out the places people came from, and places they had been to. My aunt and uncle had taken some vacations to far places. More special than the souvenirs were the pictures and guide books they brought back, and the stories of the fun they had.
While I wished that I could see the world, every summer I was able to go to my own very special world. My parents had a summer cottage that we shared with my aunt, uncle and cousins. I loved exploring in the woods, floating on a raft on a hot, muggy day, and staring at the starry sky over the lake on a clear dark night. This was my world and it was the next best thing to heaven. My good friend once told me that the number one best childhood memory people recall is the summer camping experience. Whether it's a cottage, or a tent camping trip or in an RV, I believe there is something very special and quite mystical about being so close to Gods wonderful creation and experiencing nature.
The books, the people, and the experience of being away from home, all these things stirred up my imagination, and were the inspiration for dreams later lived out. In my next blog entry I will share some great family trips we have taken, and look specifically at the times we travelled with infants, toddlers, and very young children.

Family Travel Series Part 1

Spring is here and the peak vacation season is just around the corner. Some people may have vacation planning on the mind. We do! In fact, with a husband who works in the travel industry, getting geared up for vacations is one of the big highlights we look forward to. If you could create a memory for your family, I would highly suggest planning a vacation.
Vacations can be as simple or as elaborate as time and money allow. In my experience, great memories can be made whether it be a long weekend camping experience, the cross country road trip, or the overseas trip of a lifetime.
Vacations can also be very intentional. They mark milestones in our lives. A honeymoon is the crowning to the wedding for a newly married couple. We have planned trips for our children as rites of passage, marking special times in their lives. Vacations bring distant relations closer together for the purpose of keeping in touch with loved ones. They offer a time out for a couple to have time alone away from the children to focus on their own very special relationship. A vacation can also be a retreat for one member of the family to find some personal time to become spiritually and physically refreshed.
Over this next week, I hope to jot down a few of my own personal vacation experiences- not only what was great and memorable, but also what could have been better but still was memorable! I hope our journeys will encourage you!

Don't be afraid to ask! I have been asked over the years by friends and people I meet to write about my experiences as a mother, to give counsel, encouragement, a helpful suggestion. Well busy mothers don't usually have a whole lot of time to think long enough and gather up those thoughts to write a book, but somehow we do have time enough to talk to a friend in need, or to give advice to our children and their friends. Mothers do have a lot to say. Well yesterday when a friend told me once again that I should write, the blog was suggested. Maybe I can do this! It isn't so formal. I's kind of like sitting over a hot cup of coffee and discussing life's most pressing issues of the moment with my dear friends! Here goes!